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May 1, 2015 – Monologue Jokes
1. The California ALCU launched a mobile app on Thursday that will let bystanders record cell phone videos of police misconduct and then send the footage to the organization’s computer server. And, in...
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June 8, 2015 – Monologue Jokes
1. In a speech last week, Ray Kurzweil, the director of engineering at Google, said that humans will be hybrids, part man, part machine, by 2030. “I can’t wait to have a human part,” said Mitt Romney....
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January 29, 2016 – Monologue Jokes
1. On Thursday, a doctor released a letter stating that Democratic presidential candidate Bernie Sanders is in “overall very good health.” Asked about his political views, the doctor said he felt the...
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November 17, 2016 – Monologue Jokes
1. According to reports, President-elect Donald Trump does not want to live full-time at the White House, but instead, wake up in his own bed in Trump Tower. I assume he wants to wake up in his own bed...
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December 5, 2016 – Monologue Jokes
1. Merriam-Webster dictionary said, as of right now, the word of the year for 2016, which is based on number of lookups, is ‘fascism.’ Presumably because ‘WHATTHEFUCKISGOINGON!?!’ isn’t a real word. 2....
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June 21, 2017 – Monologue Jokes
1. Yesterday, Costa Rican President Luis Guillermo Solis Rivera accidentally swallowed a wasp while speaking to reporters. Of course, the last time President Trump encountered a wasp he made her...
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February 25, 2019 – Monologue Jokes
1. In honor of the upcoming summit in Vietnam between President Trump and North Korean leader Kim Jong Un, a Hanoi barber is offering free haircuts to anyone wanting to copy Trump or Jong Un’s...
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October 7, 2019 – Monologue Jokes
1. Authorities say that temporary water filters installed in homes in Newark are at least 97 percent effective in reducing lead in drinking water. “Newark? You know what, I think we’re good right...
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